EPIPHANY

"I'm not totally mad at you. I'm just sad. You're all locked up in that little world of yours, and when I try knocking on the door, you just sort of look up for a second and go right back inside."  - Haruki Murakami, Norwegian Wood  sometimes i dream a lucid dream carrying all the worries i have with me and you should know that home doesn't feel like home until you come come to my world with rays of sunshine and white bougainvillea in your hands those stepping stones you walked the breath you hold all these times i can guess all your nights spent alone were as grey as mine all the fight you fought made you fearless with time you must have felt like someone who's not loved by  as a child longing for that one ray of light and then suddenly disappearing into the dark trying to escape the home that never felt like one making up a world inside your mind where you lay under the tranquil azure sky cumulus cloud spreading by in your mind with memories

ps: these pictures of mine are just an illusion, i'm actually a mess (sick and tired and kinda sad) rn in my life, but when it comes to love my pen won't stop to write (lol). love is acceptance. love is understanding them, even when they find it hard to understand themselve. love is simple, though may take you through a road of complications. love is kindness, forgiveness, warmness, even craziness. love feels warm and at the same time it is the autumnal breeze that creates goosebumps on your skin. the effect love have- co-existence of different shades of feelings. love comes with difficulties for sure, that's why it is powerful, according to me with great power comes great difficulties. love is honesty. love is the truth you can't hide from me like you hide from yourself. love is unconditional, unreasonable, undeniable. love is a lot of things. oh they say love is happiness, but happiness is temporary, love isn't. love is multidimensional. there must be a p

     d ust collected in rainbow dreams     have faith in you     but not destiny     stars answered back     that things that shine     are meant to stay far     i close my eyes     for i have fear    why the stars let us meet     if we aren't written together     and i still tried    give a hand to hold    and love to grow    but our    love apart

remember once you said it's difficult for you to understand why love songs are so glorified, you don't understand them, they don't feel realistic to your cynical mind. but i'm a hopeless romantic at heart, i feel words of music better than the words of my own heart. you think there's no need for love songs in this world, they're not a necessity. but my love, what if loving you is breathing for me? what if my chest feel heavy, but your ignorance is a bliss? what if a girl crying her heart out for she wishes he stayed in the arms of the boy who makes her smile? cruel right? the power love puts in the hands of a lover. at times it's nothing but sound of rain filling my empty mind. it's love song that brings season of blossoms in view. I wish to simplify love songs for you. and i know you'll listen to my talk. please be kind to yourself, there's a good side to this face. there's always our part to do, but you can't mend broken hea

you love a soothing aubade / in the cracks of golden dawn / i wish to be the first ray of light / to seep through your window / to reflect the shine from your eyes / the first touch on your golden skin / that's when my morning will begin / oh how my heart wants you in simple ways / how i'll do anything to feel you everyday i'm a moonchild / born in the midnight's swaddle / raise with listening to lullabies of loneliness / now solitary in my heart / and poetry in my pen / i wish to paint the canvas of life / in hues of dream / and my heart wishes / for you to colour me in. born in early autumn air / you bring safety with your embrace / and you give shades of warmth to the fireplace / you're the only home i want to remember the way back / because anywhere else is just brick walls / but you're my beautiful blue boy / the shade of your love haunts me / yet holds me longer than the stars in the sky my first breathe were the scent of blossoms / spring days were my fir

I love you Nanu, and always miss you. You're my first teacher and my forever inspiration. I watched as you become a star so far away to reach my hands I searched for you in every night sky wishing maybe the clouds could cascade your lullaby I feel you in every breathe  cause you're so alive in these trees you'd grown with love and they give me hope to always move forward surely without your guiding shadow but with your learnings that embraces me  in my highs, in my lows. On 17 August 2015 I lost my maternal grandfather. He's like my most favourite human to ever exist in this universe. He means the world to me.Whenever I see trees,plants, and overall the mother nature, it always reminds me of him.I see the reflection of his love in these tress. He loved to grow them,with the same love he had for his grandchildren. He used to grow them like he was breathing through them, well little did the innocent little me knew he actually was.So many memories are associated with him a

No human have quite  observed my content in solitude as the mother nature has  healing powers she have in the gust of wind  touching the soul beneath my skin the evergreens that blooms without any talk about the doubts in its ability without the pressure of mastering the art of  "unfazed by the opinions" and the soft spoken poetry  of those songbirds I don't understand them but I know they are speaking words of reassurance they just exist  and let you be a human   without those gazes of judgements  in your every move you sit near the lakes the blues of seiche waves never give you pain they bring serenity with them and the melody of dawn an aubade of blessings and a lilac sunset drawn in the sky by mother nature.

 A story that seems familiar to us all the memories flashes infront of our eyes A song that makes us feel  like a bird is freed from its cage A moment that is enough to make  the rest of your day great A sight from the window seat of bus Reminds me of the innocent soul of us  counting stars in night sky, who was always curious if we can reach the cloud with a ladder of dreams. A day when we feel lost in the thoughts why feelings are so weird? Neither we can control them nor we can deny to feel  A place where our every desire, every pain  reside, where our mind heal where we can hear our inner voices A person who makes you fall in love with yourself,who respect your choices who can be by your side in every season of your life  Whether it's the cold breeze of winter,or its the joyful spring day.💜

  The eyes that tells a story everytime    The heart that speaks honest words    The silent voice that can be heard louder    than any bomb    The poet who starts penning never stops.