take my hand, take my whole life too

sometimes i wonder if we ever think about each other at the same time. if you ever think about how my day is going. if i am laughing at some silly joke or faking smiles at fake people. if i am sad for some random reason, irritated because it's that time of the month or silently overthinking about everything, all at once. if you ever think whether i had my morning coffee, do i have a test i'm stressed about or how's the weather of my city. if i am getting enough sleep to dream, or nightmares are my only companion. or if i am having breakdowns in the bathroom, hiding from my truth. because i think about you, and i think about these things. i secretly wish that you think about me too. i don't want to be easily forgettable. but i don't want to disturb your mind too. i know how you would be feeling when you think about me. maybe it's better if you just forget about my existence, for your peace of mind. atleast i don't want to be remembered as a regret. but for me all the songs are named after you now. i talk to the sky about you and i whisper your name so sacredly i fear it almost think you're some religion i believe in. i hold back my urge to not reach my hands out for you, when all i ever wanted was for you to take my hands. it feels torturous, like i am a tortured poet. i try to carry your essence within my soul so that i feel less dead. i hope i made you feel a little alive and made you believe that you can love fearlessly. i want to live for you, i want to love for you. and i can't think about another face that i want to see when i'm in my deathbed. oh to desire love, get it, and lose it, all in the same lifetime from the same person. all's fair in love, but i guess, love is not fair to all.