she's a dreamer, and the sky is her dream!!

  

  yepp that's meee in 1st grade lol, which was 13 years ago btw but com'on she was the rockstar man!! lovee herr, also the picture quality is bad because it's  a photo i took from my phone of the school magazine in which it was published.

 

 

a reincarnation of 

my childhood dreams

knocking at the door

but i try to self assure 

that my dreams today are the same 

just different perspect & way

now when I look back at

those eyes holding hope

dreams of growing older and wiser

i feel ashamed sometimes

maybe i disappointed her

her dreams were larger than life

and mine's are just finding 

ways to survive

but they say

you always carry your inner child 

she's still alive in my soul

her dreams are still mine to hold

soft in my fist

soft yet so strong

i want to smile like her again

dance like her again

gain the courage to cry like her again

without fearing it'll make me look weak

break my cold exterior of glass

the wings you once wished to have

to fly higher than those clouds 

to paint the sky with hues

of nature & dream 

those dreams are still alive

they still have desire to ignite

turn the ashes into gold

find yourself within 

voices of unknown.

i still want to wreath new dreams 

and make those parts of myself

believe in the magic of new beginnings

there's beauty in broken heart

there's light that shines through those cracks

and at the end of the path

i can imagine myself

embracing my inner child

her and mine's dreams intertwined 

i see my beaming face in her eyes

honest heart, honest words

that's what dreams are made of.

note- first post of the yearrr!! and it's super personal. as im getting closer and closer to turning 18 this year, the clouds in my head are turning into storms. my fears and insecurities are just growing with my age. since i was a kid i always wanted to become a doctor. or maybe it's the people around me who made me believe that that's what i want to be, need to be. and that little girl believed that was her dream. but as i grew up i never enjoyed studying biology. i used to feel bored even though i'm literally a nerd. so i started feeling anxious that what am i gonna do about this situation, how am I gonna tell my parents about this? or more importantly how to face my own younger self who dreamt of becoming a doctor without knowing she'll come to not like the subject that's the key to it? inbetween all these chaos i sowed the seeds of new dreams. i faced the truth that i can never pursue something i don't enjoy or like. i'll rather choose something i'm truly  passionate about. and it was hard to find the path in which im right now. and im still finding myself through my writings. i think even if i end up as a poor struggling writer, atleast i'll be proud of myself. and i guess that's what dreams are made of humansss!!